Been blogging so much more often now, idk.

Used to be whenever I'm sad, you're the first person I tell. But right now, its blogging.

Don't know what happened to us, don't know what made us change. But I can feel it. The drifting apart. You're so near yet so distant away. What's happening?

Are  you not able to tell when I'm sad now? Because honestly, I don't know what happened. I thought you'd know, thought you'd care. But you wanted to leave. To sleep.

Am I just not more important than yourself? You put yourself above me, don't you? Do you know then, I put you above me. Your needs come first, not mine. Yes, that's how I treat you.

But I'm not being treated the same way. Don't tell me, I am. Because honestly, words are nothing. Prove it.

I don't know if my feelings fade or my mind is just intentionally making me feel numb & nothing to prevent more hurt. I honestly think so. Because, I still love you. But at times, I go all numb. I don't know how say.

We've been drifting so much. And I don't know what to do. I keep pushing you away from me because I'm terrified. Terrified of the same thing happening, being dumped away.

These are the words I'd never dare to tell you facetoface. But I'm gna tell you right now. I'm pushing you away. Please don't let me succeed. Because honestly, I don't see you doing anything.

I want to be that girl, you put above yourself because you love her. If I can't be that girl, I'd rather let you go to find that girl even if it kills me.

So bi, tell me. Can I ever be that girl? Truth and not lies to please me. If I can't, I guess we aren't meant to be. But you're above myself, bi. I love you that much. I just want the same love.

Maybe i'm too worthless to be loved, never good enough to be someone's top priority. Maybe that's all i am. Worthless.

All i want is to be your top priority.