Run, that's all you'd ever know to do.

Every single problem you meet, you ran. Ran from every single problem you'd ever faced. Shanya, the clique, Wayne, Isabel, Daniella, every fucking thing. Ha ha ha.

I'm never gna be here for you like how I said I'd be. I'd end up running. 

You wouldn't not give up on me. You'd give up having to chase me, having to hold me down, having to deal with me pushing you away. You'd give up. It's only a matter of time.

I'm not worth anyone's time or efforts, honestly. All that'd I'd end up doing is running away. I'm better off on my own, not hurting anyone.

When people are sad, others will comfort 'em. Me? I'd give up & run away. That's all I ever seem to do. That's why people give up on me. Because I gave up on 'em first.

I want someone to hold me back  never let go. But I can't do it. So why am I expecting people to do it for me?  

I'm not worth that effort, not worth people putting in so much efforts for someone who only knows how to run away. I'm not worth anyone's time or love or care.

I don't deserve anyone or anything because all I'd ever seem to do is hurt 'em, is run away & push 'em away. It's always like this. And I don't even understand why people bother with me anymore. 

I'm just not worth it. 

So, I'm back again. 

I don't understand why you were sad. I don't understand why you can't understand my explanation. I don't understand. I'm trying my best, but you just go like 'whatever, its your fault'. But I'm trying so hard.

I've to learn to stop running away from problems. Whenever there's a problem & I'm at fault or when I'm sad, I'd just run away. I'd just say goodbye & walk away. How I wish, you'd pull me back. How I wish you'd stood by me, asking me to not go despite whatever shit I say.

Two people can only be together when they are what each other lack & need. Are you everything I'm lacking? Are you what I need? 

I guess thats why I lose so many people. I don't explain myself, the first thing I do is run away. I'd just walk away. I guess, thats me huh. 

1, 2, 3. Poof. That's me walking away

So i'm back, after a million years (':

When someone says they love you, they don't just dump you aside. They actually stick by you. But then, worthless people gets no one, i guess. They're the people, that others go to, when they've no one. They're the people, that others dump when they have better options. 

Why? Simple. Because you're worthless. You mean something to 'em, but not quite enough for 'em to put you above their needs & wants. You became an option because you love these people too much to tell 'em to leave, or leave 'em.

I hate it when i'm tryna tell you something & you go bout yourself. Yeah, i'm a hypocrite. It's fine. I'm used to keeping things to myself, cause no one wna listens to me. Often crying alone, because no one actually gives a fuck.

Well, thats life, you either mean something to people or become utterly & totally worthless to everyone. Guess i'm the unlucky ones.

Its sad when someone tells you that you mean something to 'em, that you're worth something. And you believe 'em. You put your utter faith in 'em thinking they'd be worth it, thinking they wouldn't break you like everyone else did. But the truth is, everyone does it. 

Whats sadder is, the person who you had utter faith in, wouldnt do this to you, did it. And you have no idea what to do because you're so hurt. You just let it happen because too many people treated you this way, like you're utterly worthless.

Maybe someday, i'll truly believe i'm worthless & stop having expectations for myself. Its not like anyone puts me above 'em. Its not like anyone would rush down to my house while i'm crying if its exam periods. Its not like anyone's gna stay up till 3 because i'm crying. Its not like anyone cares.

Well, the fact i'm ranting is because of limelight. You was suppose to go with me. But because your friend wanted to go, i'm replaced? Whats worse is, you decided to go without me. You didn't even offered to go with me. Instead you just go like 'i'm so sorry this happened to you. But i'm still going with 'em despite just bringing your hopes up and crushing 'em.' Ha ha ha. Its like, i would never do this to you. But in a blink of an eye, you did it. Without thinking of my feelings. You did it.

Well done, bring my hopes up and crushed without a second thought. Congrats, you broke me.