Have you ever regretted anything?
I
don't know honestly. I used to. But then someone told me, I shouldn't
regret everything cause at that moment, it's exactly what I wanted.
But now I'm asking you, have you ever regretted knowing me? Regretted the memories? Regretted the friendship?
Friends for life? True friends? As time passes, they seem so impossible to have. In a world like this? Nothing lasts.
You don't destroy the people you love.
Why am I pushing you away? Why?
I
ask myself that so many times but the only answer is that I'm so used
to this. I'm not used to letting anyone in. I'm just not. I'll try &
find flaws so I'd have a reason to not let you in.
I'm selfish. Yes I know I am. I'm sorry..
It's
just that everyone who promised again & again they'll be there,
left. Everyone who I let in, went against me. And honestly? I'm not
prepared. I'm scare to feel that pain again.
When
I'm hurt, the pain isn't just mentally. It's physically. I don't
fucking know why but there's this sharp pain going through my body. Why?
You wish you know someone that can understand you.
Have you ever feel so lonely?
Yes. It just feels like I can never tell anyone my problems. The urges to cut. The voices screaming at me, laughing at me, mocking me.
Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be happy? Why?
The scars that fill my body. Every white line. I can remember the blood, the pain.
I bleed.
