'Don't fuck with her feelings, bro.'

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of feeling anything. I'm afraid to love. I'm afraid to lose. I'm afraid to be happy. I'm afraid to be excited. Cause all this happy feelings? They'll all be gone before I know it. They'll all be gone before I can cherish the feeling.

Happy? Yeah. I do smile & laugh. I do. But it's like once I'm all alone, the thoughts come to haunt me again. It scares me. Day & night of what I'd eventually do to myself. Honestly. 

I'm afraid of trusting others. I'm afraid of getting my hopes up. I'm afraid of expectations. Cause all of this will end up hurting me. I mean, if you don't trust people. How will they hurt you? If you don't get your hopes up, if you don't expect, how do you get disappointed? You won't.

I wish I'm as pretty as her. But I guess I'll never be.

I never thought I'd fell in love with someone who'd treat me like I'm a second option, the second choice. Yes, I've never been the first choice. But still..

I never thought I'd fell so deeply. You, my dear, stolen my heart. If you don't keep it properly, can you please return it?

I remember this conver.

'Why you cannot forget him?'

'He stole my heart. Dw give me back.'

'He alr give back. You just refuse to take it.'

Damn. That hurt. I love reading old convers on Facebook. It makes me laugh at how childish I used to be. But then, childish means being happy right? It means not being able to worry bout a single thing right? Then I wna be childish.

I remember someone telling me this

'I'll take care of your heart in a glass box like Cinderella's glass shoes. I'll not let it break. I won't even let a single dirt on it.'

So what happened? You choose another girl over me (: 

How many times have I trust someone with my heart, how many times have I love someone only to get hurt in return? Uncountable.

Even when she smiles, you can see the sadness in her eyes.

I wonder who still view my blog. Cause I remember giving this url to only a few people. But when I check the stats everytime, it'll increase. Why?

Hahaha. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

The only reason why I haven't change my blog is cause I still have this hope in me that you still read it. That you still care. That one day, I'd receive a message from your blog too..

Cause I've convinced myself no one cares & no one ever will.

You asked me if I regret not choosing you over him.

Let me tell you, I don't regret it. Cause him? He's everything I ever wanted. He might not be the best looking, might not be the best boyfriend, might not be the nicest, might not be the best but trust me, he's a lot better than you. And my heart has choosen him. Not you. So, too bad. And eff off alr.

You aren't anything like him.

You? You're a petty, jealous, childish boy. You'll never be able to compare to him no matter how good you look. Hell, you don't even look that good. You might have girls looking at you all the time. But damn, I doubt so. I think you're just claiming it yourself.

Cause I don't regret choosing him. He's everything I ever wanted