Perhaps Ding Xiang & Trevor's right. Maybe... It's her. What can I say? I'm never good enough for anyone, right. Well, I tried. (: It's okay. I'm never good enough.

Feel like breaking down, just crying. But I can't. Can't let 'em see. Although I trust Syed & Seraphina & Isabel a lot. But still, crying... Idw to be weak. Not anymore. Can't wait to get home & just let everything out.

I gotta go tmall for a while. My penknife's rusting on me. 41 days... I'm suppose to aim for 2 month. But this? This is torture. I'm trying hard to. So hard to just stop being so moody.

Why can't I ever be good enough. Why?

Feel fat. Feel like puking everything out. Ana told me I'm too fat. Ana said I need to starve. Ana says I'm not good enough so I should starve. I'm trying to block Ana's voice out. But I can't. Ana voice is slowly creeping into me & destroying me. Ana, Ana, Ana. I wish I never known you.

Ana taught me how to starve. Ana taught me everything I need to know. Ana destoryed me.

As time pass, destroying myself is all I know of. I hate it. Hate the fact this has taken over me..

'He likes her. He'll never fall for you. You're too fat, you're just fucking not good enough no matter how hard you try. You cut. You're suicidal. No one loves a suicidal girl. Too bad for you. You're just never good enough'

The voices in my head is killing me alr. The urge to get that penknife is just so tempting.... No one understands...

'Stop seriously'

'I can't. I really can't'

'Shut up. I believe in you'

I'm sorry, dear. Looks like I'm gna have to disappoint you.

Andy ah Andy. Why leave me? Look where I am now? I miss you. I miss being happy. I miss being who I used to be. If you haven't left me, I wouldn't fall for him. Look where I am now. Crying over him. Aren't I dumb?

Told me to replace you with someone. Let me tell you now, I can't. Even if I find someone new, that I really love, I can't forget you. Do you understand?