'Oh how I wish it was me~' - I Wish.

Moody once again... Yien told me something I should have never heard.... Feel like crying. But in front of 'em? Nah. Shall just smile. (: even if it hurts me..

I miss him.. Andy. He's the one who know I'm moody even when I text him like I'm happy. I know how he knows I'm moody alr... He says when I put a full stop & then space then smiley, I'm moody. I guess so.. Maybe. Hahaha.

I can't cry.. I can't. I'm gna be a strong girl & smile. I'm not gna let anyone see me cry. I'm not gna be weak anymore. & most importantly, im not gna let anyone see me cut. The penknife... Somewhere in my drawer. Just waiting for me to take it & kill myself. Perhaps... One day, I'll do it. I wonder. How much more I can hold before I completely can't take it anymore

I should have never heard what Yien told me... I should have not heard what Dingxiang said. Why.... It's never me, right. I'm not good enough. 我明白了

I should just stop trying. & just give up.. Maybe, they are right.

I thought. I had a chance. Guess I'm too dumb.

All those stuff keep flooding my mind. It's driving me crazy. The texts Yien told me, the twitter mentions. I should have known.

I... Just didn't wanted to accept reality, I guess. These tears, please stop falling. Please stop. The urge to cut... Go away.. Please.

Maybe. I should have never woke up. I should have slept more. Then I'd not see that text from Yien... Well. Nothing I can do anymore....