It's amazing how one person can just make your entire day.

I honestly wonder if you know how much you mean to me. it's like my I can be crying but if you come & try to cheer me up, I'd be laughing alr. It's how much you mean to me. Do you know?

Daniella's away on holidays, I wonder if she's still reading my blog. Hahaha. I wonder if the hotel has wifi.

It's funny how people can mean so much to you & they never know how much.

There are so little people who means so much to me. That I never wna lose. I wonder if any of 'em know..

I never knew the feeling of getting bullied, till now.

I always thought it was silly to cut. I never thought words could mean so much to someone. I never thought people could be hurt over words.

I used to look at people's cuts & think 'Why cut? Not pain meh? Why let other people words get to you?' Which is what people are telling me now. But then, I finally understand.

Why cut? Cause I need the physical pain to distract me from the mental pain. To me, it's like the blood makes me think of the problems slowly slipping away. It isn't true, but yea. When I cut, I can't cry. I don't know. I can't. So, it helps my tears too. Although everyone says it's not good to cut, but in the process, I can't think. I don't know. All I think of is cutting, the sting. So, I won't think of the problems.

Not pain? Yup, it isn't. For me, I've improved. I only cut a few times these days when I used to spam? Hahaha. So yea, I kinda improve. But when I spam, it wasn't pain at all. I don't know. I was really numb. I felt numb. Hahaha. I think it's just that after that, the cuts are kinda itchy & nothing more.

Why care? Cause I do. I mean, can you deny you don't care if someone calls you slut? Can you not care? No. I mean, every perfectly normal human will mind, will let it affect you. Moreover, they wasn't making it secret. They were shouting. They were saying it just to see you hurt, just to see you cry. Would you not care?

I can see it in your eyes, you're hurt.

I wonder if it makes you happy to see someone harm herself over what you've said. I honestly think so. You think your joke is so funny. I wonder if it'll still be funny if you've seen that person crying & self harming herself.

You think you're so pretty, so popular. But even so, I think you've no fucking rights to call anyone names. I doubt you know what you're doing to that person. I honestly wonder if it'll even haunts you that you're the source of someone's cuts/death.

You might think those words are funny at that point of a time. But please, is it funny if you're that person? I wonder what you've done if you're the person. Would you've done worse? Would you be stronger?

For someone who's alr struggling with suicide fantasies, you've to rub it in huh? You really had to. You aren't able to see how much your fucking words hurt someone. Have you ever wonder if you'd be the source of someone's death?

You would say, 'I didn't mean it to be this way'. Look, I know you didn't mean it. I know you didn't thought it'd be that serious, but it is. Have you seen her tears? Her cuts? She's dying. She's fucking struggling.

I honestly think that everyone has the ability to make someone break. But I think everyone has the ability to stop the person from breaking down. I think everyone the person knows play a part in whether she'd choose death or life.

It's sad how everyone don't know that, esp those who called her names. It's sad how they never tried to help her not choose death. It's sad they always try to pull her down. It's really sad.

I hope it fucking haunts you that you're the reason of someone's cuts, scars or death.