Don't exactly know what to blog.
All my mind thinks of are the insults being shouted at me.
Two faced slut.
Yongmei & Wengkit & others were shouting it. Wengkit was even asking 'em to shout louder, cause I looked like I couldn't hear it. Really?
If you guys wanted me to breakdown, or cut, you've won, okay? I give you credit now. You've succeeded.
Are you happy that you've brought her down?
I don't know... I've always thought that maybe our friendship means a least something to you. But nope, it doesn't mean a fuck to any of you.
You guys should have told me earlier. Before I kept on holding onto the friendship. You guys should have told me. That I don't mean a fuck to any of you.
Remember Andy? I remember the few months going through the breakup. Suicide has never left my mind. Well, I stayed strong cause I couldn't bear to leave you guys. That's why you guys meant so much to me.
Well, looks like I should have died a long time ago.
If I've died a long time ago, honestly? No one would be affected.
But I wouldn't have met people who actually cares bout me. & now, when I think of suicide, I can't do it. Cause I don't want to see those people crying over me. I can't wipe their tears away. I don't want that to happen..
If I want to die, I'd just disappear. So no one would find my body & have to deal with the fact that I'm gone. Maybe, they still think I'm there, helping 'em secretly.
The only thing keeping me alive is you & 'em.
To be honest, I'm only living for a few people. It's not for myself.
I really really wna volunteer at spca. Hahaha. I don't know.. I think it might actually make me happy. Maybe?
I just wanted an escape, death.
